Last night I had a flat tire.. well really it was a blowout and luckily it happened close to the side of the road so I was able to pull over and change it myself. but not really, because what I did instead was call my husband (who is amazing for so many reasons) who didn’t make me feel bad about it AT ALL and proceeded to take off his fancy dress shirt (did I mention we were driving back from a fancy event, always the way) and he changed it. I did TRY to change it myself because I SO WANT to be the person who knows how to do this but I don’t. I was able to get the jack out and other items and was working on it when he walked up and said, “do you want me to do it, or do you want to do it?” I said, “no, I am tired of this being something I don’t know how to do” and got the jack out and started slowly slowly slowly moving the car upwards so I could take the tire off and then replace it.. to complicate things a kindly stranger pulled up to help us with his hydraulic jack and I could have been stubborn but accepted it..Jeremy made the comment, “It goes against everything in my nature to let her do this” which made me all the more determined to do it, dang it!!! so got the jack to pull up the car (a lot faster than a manual for sure) and then pulled the lug nuts off.. at this point my back started to hurt and I cried Uncle and just gave in to the pressure of the two “men” who were ready to take it over and watched as they did what likely would have taken me at least 30 minutes to do in about 5.
I was feeling frustrated about it and shared that with my husband and he brought up the very good point, I have never been taught and every time I try, some guy walks up to help and its not that I don’t appreciate it, its just that I haven’t been strong enough to say, “no, I got this…. ” because I truly don’t believe I do. Which I plan to fix TODAY.
I am going change the tire on my car in my driveway tonight where there is no pressure, no fancy dress or anything else or anyone else to help.. no it won’t fix the embarrassment over last night or the other 4 times this has happened where I SWORE it would NOT happen again but it’s a start. I don’t share this lightly, I am embarrassed and I am sure my feminist friends are pretty ticked at me, but I swore to be honest with you, my readers, and that is what I am doing.
I think we all have gaps in Life Training and its our job to actively seek ways to fill them. For example, until I turned 33, I did not know how to budget or balance a checkbook, I do now. I also did not know how to cook, I do now.. So really, this is just a skill I haven’t learned yet.
Think about it, and think about ways to fill your own gaps TODAY! –
As I was watching my niece yesterday, she was coloring a beautiful rainbow of colors and I asked her, “what is that?” and she replied “cking” so that is either chicken or duckling but I am not sure which and you know what? That is okay. It is 100% okay to not fully KNOW what something is especially in the creative process.
Yes, she is 2 and I am 38 but you know the lesson remains the same. It doesn’t actually matter what it is, it just matters that I asked. It just matters that you ask someone ( about their creation ) what is that and REALLY be okay for the answer to be,
“I don’t know yet”
Life is a lot like that if you think about it.. we are constantly creating and defining things and sometimes the question doesn’t have a concrete answer and that is okay too.
While you are at it, reframe how you think about creativity.. it can be either the way the table is set or the way this photograph was taken..
Think about it.
We all wear “being busy” like a badge. It’s true.. the last time someone asked you how you were, I bet you said something like, “busy, but good” or “busy”.. but I beg the question, “what are you busy doing?” If you are me, that answer might look like this.
I am busy working full-time and being a wife, aunt, daughter and friend. I am also working hard to make our new place a home, not just someplace we go at the end of the day. This does not come naturally to me, as “domestic goddess” is a new label I am trying on…. This is not to brag on me or my accomplishments but to rather have you take stock of your own “busy”
Are you busy saying yes to things you would rather not do? Remember sometimes we have to say yes to ourselves by saying no to others.
Are you keeping friendships that don’t deserve the effort? Sometimes this practice can go on for years, unchecked, I beg of you don’t support friendships that don’t support YOU. YOU deserve better! YOU PROFOUNDLY MATTER, don’t spend another second with someone who doesn’t believe that. Life is entirely too short.
Or are you busy living the life you want, striving for the things that matter to YOU?
Think about it!
Dear Readers, This was a Fabulous question asked by one of the seasoned people in my Toastmasters club during Table Topics this week.
As table topics go, its pretty deep, and I think that every time I speak (thanks to my good friend, Ryan Avery) I do strive to “Not give a speech” but “give a message from the heart” so I touched on some things that have made me realize I am an adult lately but that question can be taken in so many ways so thinking about it I wanted to answer it here.
I know that my life is changed because recently, when coaching someone, I felt my own spirits lift as they “got it” and I can feel good about doing work that matters every day.
I know that my life has changed because now instead of worrying about having enough, or overdraft fees or personal power outages we look for ways to give to others with our time and our money.
I know that my life changed because when I play with other people’s children, I no longer think to myself, “NEVER” I now think “Someday…” and smile.
I know that my life is changed because I am loved and love many and that was not always the case.
I know that my life has changed because this picture of me as a cabaret girl exists, I would have never have had the confidence to do that kind of photo shoot without weight loss and a very healthy body image.
How do you know YOUR life has changed?
Think about it…..