Last week I wrote about the need to really see/feel/hear/examine the bad things when they happen to you and others. I talked to my good friend, Rachel about how mindfulness is not the “Pollyanna approach” = This is someone who says.. “The sun is shining! (when you are in the middle of a tornado) not really realistic but positive..not to mention rather foolish to insist the sun is shining when a tornado is imminent.
It is vital to feel what you REALLY feel and not squash it down. This is HARD. It’s far easier to paint over how you feel and make allowances for how it could be worse. I spend a lot of time doing that, and only recently realized that while an serviceable coping mechanism it does not always work to resolve the issue I am facing.
Last night, I found myself feeling sad and needing to cry so I did. There are a multitude of things to feel sad about which I won’t share here, as they are still being processed, but I also knew I needed to feel sad. I usually reach for the phone to call my Mom or my husband for comfort but yesterday, last night in that moment, I needed to feel sad and NOT ask for comfort. It was a new experience for me. I cried a little, I wrote some of those thoughts and feelings in a journal and felt better. I also sent a letter to myself in the future so I could remember how I feel today and project into the future a time when I will NOT be sad.
If you want to do that too.. here is the address-https://www.futureme.org/
I guess you could say I comforted myself by allowing myself to feel bad. I did have my mom in my head saying, “When was the last time you cried, maybe you need to cry?” and you know, as usual she was right.
So I come to you today, and ask.. Is there something you NEED to cry over, gnash your teeth, scream to the heavens about? Go ahead and do it.. FEEL what you FEEL—– another piece of sage advice from my mom.. “Go ahead and go to the pity party.. just don’t stay there”–
In a nutshell, give yourself permission to FEEL how you FEEL and then DECIDE what you want to DO about it. I think the tendency in life is to not share that you feel bad, everyone wants to look good and show they have it all figured out… but I am going to say just the opposite:
So go ahead, feel what you are really feeling, I give you permission.
THINK ABOUT IT….