This week has been a trying one. Nothing catastrophic, just annoying and stressful.
I looked up earlier this week to realize my driver’s license was expired.. oops- meant to take care of that while I was on maternity leave.
I went to get it renewed in person because you can only renew it online once and then they make you renew it in person. It turned out to be a good thing because I now know that I need glasses to correct my vision while driving. I wear glasses frequently but had NO idea I needed them to drive. So that is kind of a bummer
While driving home, my husband was behind me in his car and noticed my brake light was out. So my plan was to go to the store and get the fuse I needed. I was also planning to put it in myself, yes I was going to look it up on youtube and use the daylight left to figure it out.. but then I had a delay which really screwed up my plan. Yesterday, I was leaving work, I could NOT find my car in the garage, I walked all over looking for it, and became very convinced I was losing my mind. I did eventually find it, but that was very stressful and as a result I was not in the best frame of mind when I came home…
But you know what, the second I walked in the house, I saw my husband and daughter who both smiled at me, and the day was instantly better.
So that lasted about 15 minutes, because soon after that, Vivienne started to wail, I mean like someone was hurting her wail.. so we tried feeding her, rocking her, burping her, changing her, nothing worked.. until I got up and walked with her on my shoulder. I am not a magical mother or anything, it’s just trial and error. Here’s a fun fact, that doesn’t always work.. As my good friend Durbin says, “the pain of motherhood is that what works on Friday, doesn’t always work on Tuesday” because right after she calmed down, she got upset again.. teething? gas? who knows.. we just know she is upset, because she is crying.
It’s frustrating, and it’s part of this journey-Yesterday, being a mom was REALLY hard.
I am being honest because I refuse to be part of the culture that is stuck in comparison and perfection. Yesterday was a hard day, today may be better, and we don’t know.
I am so incredibly grateful to have my husband staying home with her because that gives me such peace of mind as I head off to work. It’s a pretty thankless job, especially since his boss can’t give him commendations or raises so I thank him whenever I can, and I thank him again right now publicly. Thank you Jeremy, thank you for giving our daughter the gift of you, thank you for helping me go to work and win, thank you for being all the things you are that make you an amazing dad. Thank you for being you.
It’s a wonderful gift and I don’t want it to ever go unsaid how much I love you and how much you are my hero. Thank you.