When I hesitated to write this blog, I knew how important it was to actually write it.
Our church has been doing a series on “How to be Married” and all the ways in which we communicate and deal with conflict and confrontation.
Guess what? I am not as good at this marriage thing as I once thought. That is a pride swallowing thing to admit but it’s true.
I am writing this with my husband’s permission- See, as much as my blog is about my life, this post is about our marriage and understanding that it’s not perfect. I think it is easy to view it that way or have that be the goal or have others think we are.
This picture sure makes us look perfect, but I assure you, we are not.
But we are not, we both lose our tempers and don’t always say the right thing and often say the wrong thing.
As it turns out, I am not the best listener when it comes to listening to my husband. I consider myself to be a very good listener and excellent communicator so this stings and required I look at that and figure out why I do it, but more importantly stop doing it.
Way easier said than done, I can tell you.
On his side, he has a habit of saying “always” and “never” which doesn’t focus on the specific situation at hand, therefore making it harder to uncover what’s really making him mad. He is working on this, now that we have both identified pain points.
Something interesting has happened for us.
After having a few “up-tempo” discussions, things are starting to get better and while not “perfect” (never the goal) things are definitely moving in the right direction and we are communicating better than we were before and that is saying something.
I think this progress is owing to the fact that my husband and I love each other very much and work hard at our marriage and it is work. I will say it again, Marriage is work.
I find this method to be very helpful for important communication- Married or not- Check it out-
So, in summary, nobody’s relationship is perfect and in the war against comparison, I implore you not to strive to “appear” perfect, trust me, no one is. And if they tell you they are, I promise they are lying.
Think About It.