When I coach people I often hear them say negative things about themselves.
“I am a bad writer”
“I am reallly bad at math”
“I am not good at networking”
“I am really bad with names”
I have said at least one of those phrases to myelf and then realized that I was building the story about how bad I was at something because when you tell yourself something over and over again, you start to believe it.
Stop beating yourself up for something you think you need to be doing better.
We are all works in progress. Remember that when you talk to yourself, Mind what you say. Your words matter. Listen to how you talk about yourself. Is it mostly positive or negative?
So when I hear myself or others say something like that, I stop myself and say, “I am good at names, and getting better all the time.” In a coaching situation, I generally will say, “How about this, you are a good writer and you are getting better all the time. Sometimes they get it and say it, and sometimes they don’t pick it up and that is okay, I have planted a seed, it’s my client’s job to water it, give it sunlight, and help it grow.
Now, you have to do the work to actually change it from just a postive affirmation into a truth. There is no way to “Tony Robbins” your way into being a better public speaker, you have to join Toastmasters to learn how to be a better speaker, leader and communicator.
If you want to be better at something, don’t talk about how bad you are at it, make a plan to get better (and stick to it!) or accept where you are on the skill spectrum and be at peace with it. But please, no more badmouthing yourself, you get enough of that from other people, don’t do it to yourself.
Think About It!