No more Guilt…No, Really.

Guiltbegone

Dear Readers

This past weekend, I was telling a friend, I am so sorry I can’t come see your show, I am just not going to get to it. I went on to say, I feel so guilty.  Which I did, because I really did want to see the show, but I lacked the night. My husband and I take turns and give each other one night off a week and I had already committed myself to another show. The weather (who the heck would expect SNOW in Texas?) did contribute, but overall, I lacked time.

She was so sweet and kind and graceful and said something that stopped me in my tracks, “I release you of that, that is all yours if you have want to feel guilty that is all coming from you, not me” – We hugged and she walked away.  Wow. It was such an honest moment.

It was so true and lovely and she even mentioned having been there herself, “I love you best friend in the world but I can’t come see your show”.. I felt enormously better.

I have really been making great strides with this whole not feeling guilty thing, and then I had this large setback, but it’s okay because I have recommitted myself to giving up feeling guilty. There are just too many places to be, shows to see, parties to go to and events to sign up for and I recently realized, there are only so many hours in a day.

(I know? Stop the presses..  Mind blowing, right?)

I am the first person who has ever made this realization.

EVER.

But seriously, I don’t have “all the time in the world” and neither do you. It’s the only commodity you can’t get back, and that money can’t buy, so choose where you spend it wisely.

What I realized is that I have to budget my time ( and you should too ) just like we budget our money. I have to THINK before saying yes to something as much as I might REALLY want to do it, I have to be sure I have the time and more importantly be sure I haven’t already budgeted that time for someone else (like my daughter or my husband, say?)

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I really thought I had this one wired after last year and the whole having a baby thing which makes you realize how little time you have, but as is true with so many life lessons, I guess I need to bump into this one a few more times before it really sticks.

So here’s to NO MORE GUILT!

Think About It.

Mom Bingo- aka Scheduling Sanity!

 

Dear Readers,imagejfminc

I love my daughter, I love my husband AND I need a break from time to time.

I NEED a conversation that isn’t modeling behavior and appropriate language for a 14 month old. I need to read a book that isn’t cardboard and I NEED to watch a show minus a letter of the day and a number of the day.

I need a conversation that has years of inside jokes and shared reality as a woman, a director, a friend, and sister of the heart and mind. I need to remember who I am when I am not wearing my Mom hat.

 

 

I can’t remember if my friend Rachel came up with this term or if it was me. I will go ahead and give her credit, as she is very smart and likely did come up with it.

Mom Bingo. (you heard it here first) 🙂

Mom Bingo- refers to the checkerboard of schedules one has to consult before “finding time” that is not already promised, to work, to school, to spouses or to sleep or to exercise! Sometimes it takes a few go rounds before you find it, but if you persevere, you will !

I definitely have to work harder to keep my energy up in the face of parenthood and all the ensuing responsibilities. So this means I need examine what I am doing that doesn’t work for my long-term goals. I want to be healthy and have energy to live my life.

I have been sleeping more (but only because I stay up too late watching things that I have watched over and over again) which puts a burden on my husband to watch our child while I catch up on sleep (and then he also takes care of her while I am work so that wasn’t very fair of me) which was making me feel tired all the time, and I was trying to figure out why.

When I really looked at it and was honest with myself, I realized I am not doing anything to help feeling tired all the time. I have been eating a lot of junk and not exercising, a surefire way to put on weight and get depressed so I am working on that.

Last Thursday, I gave up soda, yes my beloved Pepsi is now a thing of the past. I want to try it and see if it helps give me energy so I am committing to giving it up for 30 days, and then see how I feel. I am also committing to working out once a week and with the combination of those things, I should have more energy, it’s a formula I have tried in the past and lost about 20 pounds, just by changing what I am drinking.

It’s an experiment, and it’s one thing I can do to try to give myself more energy. I will report back and let you know how it’s going.

The other thing I can do is say NO to things I don’t want to do. I can put more boundaries around my time so I don’t agree in the moment, and THEN take a look at all my responsibilities and commitments and then realize, I have to take that back now.

I hate going back on my word or cancelling plans and I really try hard not to do it.

There are going to be times it’s unavoidable but for the most part, if I say I will be there, you can take it to the bank that I will be.

So what has this to do with you, Gentle Reader? Simple.

Do you need to schedule a little sanity? Are you in a busy season that seems to have no end date? Look to the future and say, okay, on this day I am going to take a spa day or go to a movie by yourself (book a date with yourself and KEEP IT) treat it like a real commitment because it IS! Have that to look forward to and that will help you through your current busy patch.

Think About It