Have you ever felt yourself getting angry with someone because they REFUSE to see things how you see them? For the purposes of this discussion, let’s say it’s Girl Scout cookies. No controversy there, right? WRONG.
I HATE THIN MINTS for LOTS of reasons, the most important being, they don’t make you thin, “False Advertising”, but seriously, I just don’t like the way they taste.
On the flipside, I LOVE Caramel Delights and have for years and years. It’s been a hotly contested debate among many of my nearest and dearest friends
(You know who you are)
It’s all in good fun, of course, much like the Aggies / Longhorns conflict that I volley back and forth about with colleagues and friends.
I am a highly competitive person, so I definitely try my best to sway the opinions of others who disagree with me and it can be frustrating to realize they just won’t come to your side of the table and you hammer and hammer away at them, challenging them to change their mind. You come at it from the east, south, north, and west and you feel like you are making headway and then they say
“I see what you mean and I understand, but I don’t agree” ARGGGGGGGGGGH!
It’s so frustrating! However, upon deeper reflection, is it really?
You are talking to someone you care about, they feel passionately about a topic, and you feel passionately about a topic, you have both put forth your points of view and they put forth theirs, you understand their point but don’t agree. Why is that such a bad thing?
Why isn’t enough for us to be at the table talking and taking each other in and really listening to what they have to say. Maybe they will change your mind, maybe you will change theirs, but then again, maybe neither of you will change your opinion but you will learn something and gain a deeper understanding of the other person.
My good friend and I have differing opinions about the attainment of goals, we both agree it’s important and we both have very different ways of tackling them, both methods are completely valid and they are completely different. I came to this realization recently, it’s not my job to get you my side of the table, but it IS my job to get you sit at the table with me and for us to both show up and really listen.
The next time you find yourself wondering, “why don’t they come to my side of the table?” Stop and take the time to appreciate that they are at the table at all.
Think About It.