I see you, I hear you, I believe you.

metoo

Dear Readers,

It’s been a year since the  advent  of the #metoo movement and I have to ask….

What has changed? Are we doing better or worse?

If you are a woman, do you feel heard, believed, and supported or are you still afraid?

If you are a man, do you feel under attack? Do you feel more aware of what the women in your life face and have faced?

It may not be that simple to answer. It might not be black or white. It might be shades of grey.. and shades of okay are way better than solid black.

I was reading some comments that were given by Ellen Pompeo at the recent Power Trip event.

If you don’t know, she plays Meredith Grey, the title character of “Grey’s Anatomy” which is a television show I love and watch pretty regularly.

To read an article with more details click here – Gender Equality

She talked about how women are amazing and we do so many things that we shout about from the rooftops and end the shame and listen to women and stand up for women.

Shonda Rhimes, the writer and creator of the show, writes excellent women. What does that mean?

She writes POWERHOUSE women characters who are excellently flawed and human.  They take no guff from anyone. They make mistakes. They cry. They learn. They say the wrong thing. They say the right thing. They tell the truth even when it’s hard.  They are admirable and admired and it’s one of the main reasons I love the show. I was trying to explain to someone the other day why I love that show so much and it’s the women. They are strong without losing a drop of femininity and quiet without losing a drop of their strength. It’s a wonderfully balanced level of writing which lends itself to nuanced and studied performance.

But back to reality, and the question at hand.

A year after #metoo, how do you feel?

Are you supported, listened to? and believed?

Do you think things are a little bit better or a lot better or pretty much the same?

I do know that talking about it is important, and if just one person speaks up about the violence or harassment they have experienced it makes ALL of us stronger.

I recently posted about my experience and it occurred me that in posting it, I was scared to, even though it happened twenty years ago. I was worried that people would think “this isn’t that bad” and I even thought to myself “it could have been so much worse”

The shame of people asking questions or thinking about me differently because I told this story stopped me mentioning it in my own blog for a few minutes or days, if I am being completely honest.

“I have been seeing a lot of bravery and stories from women I know and women I want to know. So with that in mind, I am going to share a story from my past. I used to work nights and get home to my apartment late, but still wanted to exercise so I would swim after 10. I got a terrible fright one night as I was coming out of the pool, he didn’t say anything, he just looked at me with silent power, I ran away to a neighbor’s house in the complex and was very grateful he didn’t follow me, except it turns out he did, he showed up the next day at Hollywood Video where I worked at the time and was talking to me about going out some time, I lied and said, no, I had a boyfriend, and he said, he shouldn’t leave you alone, gave me a long up and down look and then walked out of the store and thankfully I never saw him again, but talk about scary. I wish I would have been stronger and said, it’s creepy and gross that you followed me to work, no, I won’t date you, and I think you should leave before I call the police. It could have been worse, far worse and it sucks that I even have to qualify it or even think twice about justifying why that qualifies as harassment or a ‘me too’ experience.

It was terrifying and I felt utterly powerless. That was 20 years ago.”

I hope against hope that my daughter never has to tell a “Me Too” Story.  I hope and pray that none of our sons or daughters, or nieces or nephews, have to talk about being abused and know that it’s only by ENDING the SHAME that we will find our way to that future.

If you are reading this and have your own “me too” story, please hear me and read my words when I say,

“I see you, I hear you, and I believe you”

I see you, I hear you, and I believe you” 

I see you, I hear you, and I believe you” 

Think About It.

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