Are you Present or Perfect?

Dear Readers,

Recently, I was preparing to do a live broadcast from the treadmill in hopes that my workout will inspire someone else to take the stairs today or do a workout themselves.

I started to hit “record” hesitated because I was looking at my grey hairs that are outnumbering my red ones and thinking, I should really put on some makeup and make sure my jewelry and shoes are matching and then I stopped myself and laughed to myself.

I was concerned with being perfect, not present.

Jeremy (my husband) had his gall bladder out last week and I am taking care of him for a few days. He really prefers to be left alone when he doesn’t feel well. Having been together for 10 years, it would SEEM that would be something I would know, right?

Not really, because I found myself wondering, “does he need a pillow, water, can I bring him some food? I even found myself wondering if I was “helping him correctly”– How silly is that? How can there be a wrong way to “help” someone.

I was concerned with being perfect, not present.

This morning, I was helping Vivienne eat her breakfast, and she was making quite the mess of it, and I realized midway to wiping her very messy face that she was delighted with the mess and I was frustrated by it. So I realized it, and in that moment, let it go and decided to just enjoy her enjoyment.

VivienneSmilesSeptember272018

This afternoon, I was giving an evaluation for one of my fellow Toastmasters, and I hesitated to share with the room that I didn’t know everything there was to know about the topic being talked about, I briefly considered not telling the room and just as quickly dismissed it. My evaluation was colored by the fact that there are many things I know about, this particular topic is not one of them. It turned out I was the ONLY person in the room who didn’t know about the subject or perhaps the only one willing to admit it.  I made a joke of it, because I was uncomfortable and then realized again that I was focused on the wrong thing.

I was concerned with being perfect, not present.

It’s perfectly human to want to be perfect, It’s imperfectly human to choose being present to allow for maximum human experience. – Professor Haston 

Think About It.

vivmombreastfeeding

The Case for Silliness

Dear Readers,

If you are reading this, know that what you are reading is true. There may be embellishments and some things that are not fully told because I think there is a fine line between transparency and oversharing.  That is my commitment to you with each post.

I really had a pretty non-existent childhood *save for one glorious summer in St. Louis, Thanks Aunt Nancy* and the sparse childhood I did have wasn’t a happy one.

Put another way, I was a grown up a long time before I reached age 18.

So last week I had a truly cathartic experience at this pop-up immersive installation called the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) Factory in Austin. It’s here for a limited time and if you are in Austin or in the surrounding area and you like taking selfies, this is the place for you!

However, upon reflection I realize it might be a good place for you if you had a crappy childhood as well.

So a part of my childhood that I don’t relish was the fact that I failed sixth grade. It happened for a variety of reasons but the biggest culprit? Algebra. It was my nemesis and for so many years before and after I told myself, “You are just bad at math” – I hate the notion and I hate that it was such a recurring tape recording for me for so long. Eventually I replaced that recording with, “Math is not that hard and I am getting better at it every day” and it took some time as well as a wonderful math professor to finally get me over it. John Thomason, I owe you thanks!

So see here, a picture of me “Conquering Algebra”-

(note the look of seriousness) “I OWN YOU MATH!”

JMacConquersMath

Another painful memory you may or may not share, I was never a cheerleader or member of dance team or any of the supporting team members I so desperately wanted to be part of though I certainly tried out for them all. You name it, I tried out for it.

Flag Team, Dance Team, Cheerleader, – No, No, No. I am treating it pretty lightly in this post, but at the time I was pretty devastated. Time really does help it hurt less!

Look, with the click of a camera, I am NOW a CHEERLEADER!

JMacTheCheerleader

The truth is while I am sad I was never a cheerleader (till now) it actually led me to theatre and acting, and while there has been a lot of rejection in that field too, it’s also led to some of the greatest times of my life not to mention friendships and collaborations I wouldn’t trade for anything so in the end, I guess it worked out the way it was supposed to.BahookieShootEm

I certainly take a good amount of grief from people for my silliness and exuberance but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s an integral part of who I am and what makes me, Me! It’s also what leads to amazing compliments like

“You are an adult Punky Brewster mixed with Carrie Bradshaw” 

JMacinthejoyofreimaginedaccess

So this place – FOMO Factory was actually there for me to help reimagine my childhood and if you will pardon the pun, allowed me to REFRAME like never before.

https://www.thefomofactory.com/

Happy to say they are extending to January! If you are in Austin, don’t miss your chance to relive your childhood or better yet, Reframe it!

#fomofactory