Not so holly jolly, are you? Me neither!

Dear Readers,

If you are not so holly jolly this Christmas, join the club. It’s been a rough year and I am struggling a little. Lots of medical issues for the whole family, no vacation for us, and several professional rejections.

Let’s not forget, I have to work today. Did I mention that? (well, now I have)

While I love the work and the people, it’s certainly not preferable to spending time with my family of choice. I do get to do that tomorrow, but right now, I am a little down.

So here goes, Christmas is not my favourite holiday because this year is the 5 year anniversary of my divorce from my family of origin. It’s sad so I don’t choose to focus on it but it does pop up for me a bit like a bruise. A far cry from the gaping bleeding wound that would cause me to weep and wail like it used to be, and it still hurts when I touch it, which happens around this time of year.

I am “well shot of them” as the British say!

But back to today and the Christmas or not so Christmas spirit I am not feeling or “embracing my inner grinch” –

In the last few months I have been getting lots of signs about how important it is to say what is so and telling thoughtful truths. It’s important to point out, we all tell the truth but then there are times where we worry about “being nice” more so than being “kind” and I think we could focus a a little more light on being kind than nice.

In the hope that someone reading this is feeling pressure to “put on a happy face” about their very real depression, please don’t feel like you have to do that.

How you feel is 100% valid, and you have every right to feel that way and if someone tries to tell you to “get over it” or “Suck it up, It’s Christmas” look at them and say,

“No, thank you.”

On second thought, screw the thank you, and even screw the no. You don’t have to say anything to anyone. As my mother of choice says, “There is no need to answer a question no one is asking at the top of your lungs”

A few others have this to say-

“Not everybody has to be happy all the time. That’s not mental health. That’s crap.” – Meredith Grey- via Shonda Rhimes)

“Telling the truth- telling thoughtful truths- should not be a revolutionary act. Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are”- Luvvie Ajayi

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. – Brene’ Brown

At the end of the day, you feel exactly the way you want to and don’t feel like you have to defend your right to feel that way. See note about boundaries!

Your tribe, the ones who love you will surround you with love and “being there” and saying nothing, which can be the most valuable gift of all.  Please be sure to get yourself what you need, whether that is being alone or that is being surrounded by others. Part of good boundaries? Asking for what you want.

Think About It…

 

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