Last week I made a post about the importance that of connection.
Ideally, that means ALL the time, but as I pointed out last week, we are so busy with life, work, school and you name it, you are probably busy with it!
So the goal is 9 minutes a day with your child partner or both.
The first three minutes when they wake up.
The first three minutes when you pick them up from school.
The last three minutes before bed.
I got really excited about this because it sounded easy.
”Beware things that seem easy, they will actually challenge you the most” – Professor Haston
So I am here to humbly report the failure to achieve perfection of this goal last week. To steal a phrase from my improv days, “I FAILED”
And, I did make progress. Not the first day, I had plans so I only got to see her during one of those times, I had dinner with my family, so I was able to “Mom” “Wife” and “Friend” YAY! Jeremy cooked and I thanked him and helped him feed her. Tuesday I was super tired from the day so I did not do anything to make those three minutes special with husband or child. Wednesday, I had an unexpected (hello life!)) errand that I had to run and that caused me to just have bedtime and We read her book and tucked her in so progress. On Thursday, when I picked her up from Dad’a work, (he picked her up from school) I asked her how her day was and asked, “Are you ready to go?” and I waited and from the backseat, came a decidedly strong, “GO”
All this to say, I made progress last week, and it’s hard. It may seem like I am being hard on myself, but really I am not. I am saying what happened and what I want to be different about what happened.
That’s gathering data, and experimenting with better ways to connect with the people who matter most.
For example, today, I came home and totally forgot about those three minutes right when I got home. I had battled traffic and was not in the greatest of moods so I changed into my mommy clothes and came back out in a far better mood, so THEN I was able to connect better with my family.
Better connection to others starts with you being more in tune with you.
Before those all important three minutes, check YOUR emotional temperature. Are you filled up or do you need a little extra self-care before giving to others?
Put another way, the first time you do something, you are pretty much guaranteed to suck at it. So “embrace the suck” (like Brené Brown says) and do it badly, but don’t let that stop you from ACTUAL progress in the pursuit of perfection.
Think About It.
(Above- Child dismantles room instead of napping) she is quite pleased with herself) Definitely not perfect…