The Sixth Love Language

Dear Readers,

I know, you thought there were only 5. Well technically, according to this site, it’s 5…. but stick with me, I will explain.

There could be more, but I know there are at least six, because my sixth love language is sleeping in.

I know the science does NOT back me up here. The snooze does not actually offer any additional rest, and after a few months of “not snoozing” and ACTUALLY getting up with an alarm (so no one can tell me I didn’t give it an opportunity to work) I certainly feel more rested when I snooze so go ahead and call it psychosomatic, but it works for me.

That’s sort of the point to this whole post, do you know your partner well enough to say at least what their five love languages are? If not, why not?

Take a guess before taking the quiz, make it into a game and see if you are right…

With Valentines Day around the corner, dig into it, and figure out what they are. This quiz takes about 10 minutes.

Go ahead and take a few minutes to do it, then send it to your partner and then make it into a fun exercise, so that you can invest in your relationship and make it stronger this holiday. This will help you to pour into your relationship the other 364 days of the year.

So one of my goals in our relationship is to uncover what his sixth, seventh, and eighth love language is, because that requires more than a 10 minute quiz, it means that daily, I need to look for the things that really make him smile, because that’s the advanced citizenship I am looking for in my marriage.

I am definitely not perfect at this, and I am working on it, along with my husband, and here is a newsflash.

We fail a lot more than we succeed.

It’s a constant work in progress, and it’s HARD. Then there are moments like this one. I am so glad that someone snapped this picture when I wasn’t looking.

So do you want to do just the bare minimum for the price of entry for your relationship or do you want advanced citizenship in your relationship ?

Think About It.

Celebrate Others, Celebrate Yourself

Dear Readers,

This seems to be pretty simple advice, but it’s actually pretty hard.

Here’s the part where I admit being human (darn you, Dr. Litt!!)

and not always filled to the brim with joy when other people have good news.

On some level, if we are fully honest, when you hear the good news of others, we might say (only to ourselves of course) you “Wait, wait, don’t I deserve

<Insert your desire here>

Well, maybe, but at this point in time, you don’t have it, so smile and think ahead to the time when you will and feel happy for them now.

What’s the alternative? Being ticked off about their good fortune because it happens to not be your “turn” (no matter how much you might think you are “due”)

Chin up, it will be your turn soon, and wouldn’t you like for people to be happy for you when it is?

My ability to celebrate others has really been tested lately. I have alluded to the past year of struggle for our family including some of our friends. It’s been HARD, (like pull your hair out, spit on your neck, angry at the world, HARD.

and there is no amount of “spin” or “Pollyanna Positvity” that makes it less HARD. I felt like pulling my hair out MOST of the time.

Trust me, I gave it my best shot, and painted it (it being the massive gaping hole of suck combined with a massive “waiting game” all the bright pretty colours I could find and it still sucked.

I think the waiting was the hardest part of all of that.

A word on that here from my good friend and fellow writer, Senator Green.

The wait is longer than we’d like. Longer than we think we can take. It’s a lot of microsurrenders.

-Senator Green

I would like to (wary of “tempting the wrath of the whatever from atop the thing” knocking on wood, ((thanks Jeremy))

as I type this) to think we are heading into a period of unparalleled growth and prosperity due to the season we just ended being the polar opposite of that, and that definitely makes it easier to view other people’s good news through that “attitude of gratitude” I constantly coach to my clients, and eventually my daughter.

I think it comes down to this. The difference between envy and jealousy.

A lot of people use these words interchangeably and this is as good a time as any to clear this up.

Envy- means I want what you have.

Jealousy- means not only do I want what you have, I don’t want you to have it.

I do my best to live a life of abundance, always preferring to believe that there is more than enough for everyone, and you having joy does not mean I, or anyone else, has less as a result of your portion.

So, I might envy your good fortune while also expressing happiness that it’s your “turn” but I will NEVER be jealous.

Think About It.