My mother of choice is amazing and strong and smart and is REALLY struggling with social distancing because she can’t (safely) hug her grandkids.
Another friend who is not a fan of socializing is “being there” for folks who are social butterflies like myself, but finding that it’s wearing on her to be there for them.
A friend of mine lost his job and is working on figuring out next steps. In the meantime, he is taking time to figure out ways to maximize the time to encourage his creativity.
Still another friend is trying to balance teaching her kid, working from home and on top of having (understandably) high levels of stress with the two of them in close quarters, she is also concerned she isn’t teaching her kid enough. What a great Mom.
And on and on, with stories just like this.
Stuff is HARD right now. Life is HARD right now. Some people have it easier than others, and it does no good to compare suffering.
Take me, for instance, I knew getting myself set up to work from home was going to be challenging and it was going to take a hot minute, so I told myself, be patient with yourself and others and realize this is probably going to take a whole lot more time than you think. Guess what? I still was impatient with myself and frustrated at my lack of productivity though I had steeled myself for that very thing.
“We are grieving the loss of the ordinary”- Professor Haston
Just a month ago, I was going to the gym and complaining about it.
So the internet is full of well meaning folks telling you what a wonderful opportunity this affords us to work on a new skill or clean out your closets, with articles with titles like “How Not To Kill Your Spouse” and “Clean Your Closet During Covid” and “10 New Things to Do While Quarantined” while that sounds great, it can and is often exhausting to think about adding yet another item to your to do list. I don’t think you need to take anything else on, do you?
You are already learning tons of new skills just to survive. Strategic shopping/delivery for groceries. Social distance is a constant. Learning how to become a teacher when you had no aspirations to do it ever, and let’s not forget the ever present fear that despite all this care and precaution, you might still get the dreaded virus and have to cope with that too.
So I say again, it’s a lot. You need to give yourself a ton of grace and realize things have drastically changed for everyone and we are ALL coping the best way we know how.
For me, there has been crying, and a lot of frustration expressed, and some unexpressed. Working on that, because the temptation is strong to try and be positive and try to spin because that’s my default position, and it doesn’t serve people to cover their very real fears with a “at least….” useless fill in the blank platitude.
So what I say is, figure out what works for you. If you need a little more rest (trust me you do) take it.
If you need to social distance 8 feet instead of 6, I support that. You want to collapse at the end of the day because you literally have nothing left to give work or your kids or your spouse. That’s okay too.
Something that I started doing last week that is really helping is I am resuming practice on my songs (after my last show in February I stopped for a bit) and working two or three counts of a Broadway number (Free thanks to YouTube!) a night. Check out my “Fosse”
This might last two weeks or a month, but right now, having ANY kind of routine is really keeping me grounded, so I am trying that. Next week might be a whole different thing, so stay tuned.
If you are so inclined, tell me something you are “having to do” and something you are “trying” because of “flattening the curve” behavior…
Let me hear both- please.
Who knows, maybe something you are trying will become someone else’s new normal…
Think About It!