Feeling pretty helpless? You are not alone. We are not alone. It may feel like it, and sitting in your house and looking at your four walls might make you feel like it, everyone is a phone call (wouldn’t it be nice if people called each other more because of this?) text, FaceTime or (insert your favourite platform here) away.
Today’s message? Look for the good, and if you don’t find it. BE The Good!
I don’t know about you but I am pretty freaked out about this virus.
And before you ask, no, I am not high risk for it, and it’s still scary as anything any of us have ever faced, excepting maybe the Holocaust, which by all accounts is cited over and over as the worst thing ever in the so my use of the example should be a good indicator of how little frame of reference I actually have for this thing.
I have several friends and family members who are high risk and it’s terrifying to think that someone they don’t even know could get them sick and they could die if they get it. Scarier still, I could have it and not know it and give it to them.
I think if we are honest, we are all very scared and making the best of a bad situation. (Insert FaceTime -and other Virtual platforms here)
How about you? Are you calm? Freaked out? Nonchalant? Somewhere in the middle or none of the above?
I will say that I am relieved that we have so many cities taking it seriously and insisting on “stay in place” orders to help “flatten the curve” and stop the spread.
2. Consult with a therapist, (but Professor Haston, we can’t leave the house, how can we see the therapist?)
Glad you asked! Welcome to teletherapy! In response to this pandemic, several therapists are offering care via virtual platforms.
3. Review the guidelines, wash your hands and ask, am I doing all I can do to prevent the spread?
4. Find an outlet- Meditate, draw, sing, dance, This can be a great opportunity to write your book/song/YouTube Channel show.
5. Read the news (sparingly!) to stay informed and if/when you feel your anxiety ratchet up, reach out to a friend, and make a plan to “virtually hang out”
6. Look for the good. There are lots of stories out in the news about moguls giving money to help find a cure. That’s good, and isn’t getting shared as much as it could be. Also, if you can’t find the good, be the good. Thank your grocery store clerk for being a hero/heroine for coming to work with a smile on their face, and if they are stressed (who wouldn’t be?) say, wow, it’s tough, or something like it, you might be the only person who notices them and really SEES the human in front of you.
So that’s my message this week, look for the good and be the good in the world.
This past weekend, I got to spend time with my best friend, Dr. Keya Howard Litt!
In preparing to write today’s post, I started thinking about the longevity and depth of the friendship as we got some real quality time (in person)!!!!!!!
This is pretty rare for us. Why? Because she and I have lived in different time zones and different countries for most of our friendship. Especially in milestone moments.
For example, when I got married, she came to Texas to “be there” from many miles, and vice versa! (Her from across country, me from across the state, but why quibble?)
Come to think of it, she was there when I did my first show in two years, she came to not only support me (while job hunting, mind you!) and providing her niece childcare and my husband and I, a very much needed “day date”
It’s a real gift to be so close to someone that you often think the same things, and even now after 16 years of friendship, we have discovered new things about each other, for instance, she HATES avocados and I LOVE them. We both dislike beer, and enjoy cider (thanks for the suggestion, Dr!!)
I could tell lots of stories but it all boils down to her “being there“ over and over and over again.
In millions of ways and for oh so many days, she is “there” and it’s a wonderful gift. It is better known as quality time in the lexicon of love languages and it can be quiet, (a text when she knows it’s a hard day for me) or loud when we scream with excitement together.
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing we can do is just show up”- Brene Brown
As this goes to print, I am delighted to share she will be a Mom soon and that will be a new and wonderful (often frustrating) thing we will have in common.
I look forward to a lot more chances to “be there” for her and my nephew.
Thank you, Dr. Howard Litt, you are an amazing friend and I love you to bits and pieces.
Who do you have in your life who ALWAYS is there?
Take a minute to thank them publicly or privately. I am sure they would love it.
Today is a hard day for my husband and I, because five years ago, we had a miscarriage.
It still hurts, and every year on this day, I get a twinge and I am reminded all over again about the baby we lost.
John Alan Haston- 3/10/15
It’s so interesting to me, that our day of sad remembrance is a day of jubilee for others.
I remember clearly a friend telling me, “Don’t hold back your sad news in the face of my joy or your happy news in the face of my sadness”
I often think about that when this day comes around, and while it’s true that you cannot have flowers without rain, but the rain can be so cold and unforgiving, it’s hard to forget it does have a purpose.
I am going to go on sharing this because it’s something we as a society, do not talk about enough. So my call to action to you, dear readers, is if you have a similar experience, or someone who has had a miscarriage, please please post a heart or a ❤ on this post to stand in solidarity with those who have had loss.
I am sad today, and that is because we lost our child.
No amount of “sorry for your loss” changes that, and it’s something we say because in loss, there is little to say to bring comfort, other than to just “be there”
It’s often underestimated as a thing to do, and sometimes it is the only thing to be done.